I'm ready to be doing something; something different and soulful and genuine. But I'm having a hard time, because I'm scared.
I left my "regular" life/job in November, to embark on a new journey.
I sense with a great surety that I'm supposed to be here, in this moment. I've consulting my spiritual guides and tool kits, and I've been given the high sign to invest in my true self, my higher purpose.
|I've been through a crucible of transformation; a ferocious tempering forge, from the events of the last few years.|
Through deep conversations with Fear, and the counsel of my spirit teachers, I've been taught great lessons about mastery; that control is an illusion, and the only true protection is to choose "right action", and dance the dance of my life with the impeccability of a warrior.
|I've been shown by the beautiful Power Deck tarot how doubt destroys intuition, and how creativity needs a garden in which to thrive.|
|Dagaz, the rune of transformation, and The Blank Rune, the rune of the Unknowable, have counseled me accept nothing less from myself than an empty-handed leap into the void.|
And the page on the right -- the next page -- is blank. This page is your "will". And to truly step into one's power, one has to leave the left page behind. To own it, accept it, appreciate it, breathe it in. And then to breathe it out, let it go, and leap.
I think this is where I am. I'm staring at the book. The left page is full.
Do I have enough? Enough tools? Enough experience? Enough skills? Enough mastery?
What if I can't do it? What if I'm a failure? What happens if I have nothing to show for all of my efforts?
What if this exercise brings me ruin?
There is no way to decide that one has "enough". In the end, it's not about having enough of anything.
I think it's about deciding where to place one's trust. Trust takes courage.
I think this is how a fledgling hawk feels when it no longer fits in its parents' nest.
I'm going to trust that I'll learn to fly.